Embrace Yourself, Figuratively
Afternoon, Readers.
So I’ve been away for some time, and I freely admit that I am prone to slacker tendencies. I could bore you with excuses of computer malfunctions, work issues, personal commitments and such–but you and I both know that these are weak excuses and nothing more. I will tell you that I have never been one of those people who is, what we call, “dependable”. But there are worse things to be in this world.
Michael Vick, I’m talking to you.
I grew up with parents who…okay, I have to stop this sentence as I realize it’s just another excuse. My bad. Let’s just say that organization, details, and task completion were not necessarily the priority in my childhood home. We were a clever, emotional, spontaneous group–generally speaking. So I am a bit a product of my chaotic environment. Plus, I am perpetually sleepy. Is anyone else as big a napper as me? I fear the answer is no, so I try not to pose the question to actual humans. Some of you may be flabbergasted at my talent for relaxation.
But enough of my shameful work ethic…let’s talk about my unique attributes. As mentioned, I am heartily spontaneous–thriving on the last minute adventure. I do not fear what is unknown, rather I seek it. Give me a recipe or a map, and I’ll show you how to deviate from it. Give me a last minute emergency and I jump into the adrenaline of being needed. It seems that I work best under pressure and for short periods of time–like a bolt of lightening. When it comes to productivity I can do some amount of damage, but blink and you’ll miss it.
Feeling bad about who you are is stupid. I cannot be awesomely organized or constantly punctual. And that’s okay, because I make up for who I am not with my other, more adorable qualities… Let’s talk about where I shine, when I’m at my best: the ideal me.
I’m proud to say that I have an artistic side to my personality. Although most people would claim the same of themselves, I am different because I have a joyful irreverence that takes these creative expressions to a higher level. Only the most brazen can truly innovate. It’s embarrassing at times how little I am able to conform to expectations, but every so often the eccentricities produce positive results.
My creativity lends itself to cooking; I love to strategize, prepare and execute dinner parties. These are short term projects I can visualize completing, consisting of a definable beginning, middle, and end. I treat my gatherings somewhat like a PR campaign promoting the Katie Fine brand. What decorations, what food, and what guests best represent who I am and want to be? Granted, there is the potential to go overboard with themes and events, but I try not to worry about other people’s limitations. This is one thing I like about me.
My daydreamy, analyzing nature lends itself to advice-giving. I do not exaggerate when I say that I am on the speed dial for several friends who occasionally seek straightforward, cut-the-shit style guidance. My communication background allows me the ability to breakdown relationships and their behaviors into manageable morsels for discussion. What’s more, my assessments often lead to real steps toward improvement, unlike Mr. Fancy-Pants: Dr. Phil. I’m not folksy and vague; my therapy is tart and practical. It’s kind of a gift.
Finally, my innate ability to observe means I am the first person to notice your lovely bracelet from Spain, or the collection of cardinals sitting in a tree, or the melancholy tone in the voice of a depressed friend. As much time as I spend reflecting on myself (this blog entry as evidence), I’m just as concerned with the people around me. It’s a distraction I can’t seem to avoid. I will see subtle beauty that often goes unnoticed; I will see quiet sadness obscured by self-deprecating humor; and I will see good qualities in others while observing the not-so-good. Very few of life’s details get by me, and I am not too shy to remark appropriately. If I’m out strolling with my husband and the dog, I compliment the neighbor on how the fuchsia blooms on her shrub blend so nicely with the purple shutters. When my student is wearing an adorable pair of shoes, I am the first person to say, “Cute sandals, Rosa”. This talent may seem shockingly useless at first glance. But what is more important than having the ability to stop competing with others long enough to show genuine appreciation?
Every day I have to stop and remember that it’s okay to be a little kooky and mildly irresponsible. So I’m one of those slackers–so what? I am learning all the time to embrace who I am and stop anticipating rejection and condemnation from the world. The right things seem to happen in due course and I eventually find myself where I hoped I would be…in spite of all the napping.
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